Parenting...it's the most underrated job on the planet. It's hard, it tests your strengths and weaknesses, and it can definitely take a toll on a marriage. When a couple is on the same page, it can feel like you're walking on air. But let's face it, this is a rare occasion, and some may say "non-existent" in their relationship.
When raising children becomes a barrier between you and your partner, it's useful to get professional help. It's not realistic to expect that spouses will agree on everything, when it comes to parenting, but working together as a cohesive team is essential. We would be thrilled to be part of your parenting team, as you navigate the difficult, and sometimes treacherous waters of parenting. We know the importance of creating a safe and secure home, and we can help get you there.
Common parenting topics
Getting on the same page
Some couples agree on lots of things, and other agree on very little. Regardless of where your marriage is on that spectrum, it's still possible to be a cohesive team. Learning to identify and value each other's strengths, and learning to be patient with weaknesses can be very helpful. Focusing on who is right and who is wrong will never be productive, and can make parenting even more difficult than it needs to be.
Communication is essential, and the objective here is to develop respect, engage in active listening, create understanding, and cultivate cooperation. For communication to be effective, be mindful of how you speak to one another. Balancing assertiveness and boundaries with flexibility is an art. Smalls steps of progress in this area can lead to great relationships with your partner and children. But don't forget to BE KIND to yourself. No parent is perfect. If you make a mistake, own it, seek amends, and be compassionate with yourself. Then, make a commitment to yourself to make consistent progress.
Building respect with kids
"Do as I say and not as I do" doesn't work. Children are a great mirror, and they often reflect the attitude, behaviors, and opinions of their parents. When a parent's words don't match the message, it diminishes respect and impacts your child's trust. No parent is perfect, but making sure to listen, validate your child's experience, and own your mistakes (even when you don't want to), can help build respect and trust. When you have their trust and respect, they will be more likely to listen.
Home is where parents teach children basic life skills. Ideally, parents have about 18 years to do so. But even with that length of time, children often reach the age of departure unprepared to manage life on their own. Along the way, it's helpful to consider where you may be over-indulging, excessively directing, or doing too much for them. These are all factors that play a role in children relying too heavily on their parents and/or not taking individual responsibility in household duties and in their own lives.