Healing from infidelity
Surviving infidelity in a relationship is no easy task. And not every relationship makes it out alive, but many do and there's always hope whether you chose to stay or go. Those who choose to stay (considering it's not an ongoing pattern) can actually learn a great deal about themselves, their partner, and their relationship. Keep in mind, that this tragic experience is different for every couple, and there are a number of considerations to address when going through the healing process. It's best not to face this treacherous path alone. Seeking professional help can help avoid additional relationship injuries, prevent further damage, and facilitate healing sooner rather than later. In the story below, information has been changed and altered to protect the confidentiality of the couple.
They came in and sat down. I could feel the heartbreak and sadness long before any words were spoken. It's a common experience when couples come in for this issue. More is said in the stillness than any words could express. After the silence, the husband began. He had engaged in an emotional affair at work...
...and she had found the text messages.
He looked contrite, but scared. Her eyes looked like a dam about to break, with an ocean behind them. Their story unfolded slowly as they discussed their pain. He was shocked by his own actions and terrified he had lost his new family. She was living on an emotional seesaw of rage and sorrow. And they were new parents, no less. "How could this happen?" They both grasped for answers. They both acknowledged that they had grown distant during the pregnancy, but they were in shock. They were going through a major death, the death of "Us," and it was painful.
The relationship they had known, died.
The deep sense of trust and togetherness had been broken. The old relationship would have to be laid to rest, and a new relationship would have to be reborn and nurtured. They would need to grieve the loss, share their deepest feelings, and rebuild a new "Us." Thankfully, that couple was willing and able to heal, but that's not always the case.
If you and your partner or spouse would like professional help healing from infidelity in your relationship, call us today. We can help you navigate the difficulties of this painful process. Read on for more information about healing from infidelity.
Not every couple comes in leading with sadness and a desire to heal. Some couples bring the boxing ring right in to the office. One partner is enraged by the other's actions, and the other one defensive and guarded. They're both beat up from throwing punches, but neither partner is ready to thrown in the towel. Other couples come in and it feels like an ice box. They've both silently committed to a cold war. They both know it's become to chilly to survive, but they can't see any way out of their circumstances.
Whether a couples comes in fighting, or withdrawing, the reality is still the same. They'll have to face the pain, to get better. Fighting and withdrawing are two sides of the same coin - they both allow the couple to delay the pain and grief of their tragic reality. As they become willing to engage in the healing process, honesty, openness, and willingness become the keys that unlock connection and peace for the relationship and for each partner individually.
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